Do you realise you have trained them to be this way?
Do you put your needs last, behind everything, and everyone else?
partner, work, parents, neighbors, siblings, friends, friends of
friends, and sometimes even the needs of people you know even less than
friends of friends.
Think about it, do their needs come before yours?
Yet you still wonder, why are you so exhausted all the time, or wonder why you have forgotten who you are in life.
Stop wondering, you are a helper, fixer, caring person, and you want everyone to be happy, healthy, fixed, better, not in pain, whatever it is, and you would probably help or fix them while standing on one leg if you had to.
We are funny creatures us human beings.
We can wonder why we aren’t enjoying life like others ‘appear’ to be enjoying it, and look for big things in our lives to make us feel better, to feel like others who look so happy, or to help us feel how we used to feel, before kids, before this job, before I lived in this house etc.
The answer isn’t in the big things in life, it is hidden there in the small things, the small moments.
Look for 5 small things you enjoy, or enjoyed doing in your life, and do even one of those things, today.
Go for a ride and feel ok about it, rather than thinking I should be spending time with my kids, or doing something around the house. Go to the movies by yourself, walk in nature, stare at the ocean, sit in a bath (with water in it) for an hour and forget about your to do list, have you tried meditating, try 1 minute if you are new to it, try 10 if you have done it before, try 30 minutes if you really want to blow your mind.
This is all about you, so don’t chose 5 things that are helping others, choose 5 that are for you. They might include activities with other people, kids, family, friends, but make sure it is about you enjoying your time with them, rather than with people who suck you of all your energy.
If you find it hard to write down things that are only for you, find 10 things to do, 5 for you, and 5 for others. For every 1 thing you do for you, choose 1 thing for someone else, and work your way through your list. When you get to 10, start again, or write a new list, there is lots to be done, for you.
It’s hard to allow our minds to think it is ok to do something for you, it feels selfish. Yes there are selfish people in the world, who do everything for themselves, and don’t care about anyone else, but that isn’t you, or you wouldn’t be reading this.
I know I repeat this message on a regular basis, but I do it for a reason. You are important, and getting time for yourself is important. If you want the secret to finding yourself, and enjoying your life, start doing more for you.
Still feel like you don’t count?
Comment below if you have followed my suggestions above, and you still feel like you don’t count, I might have some other ideas for you.
Life is waiting for you, just don’t wait too long.