How important are you?
I carry a folder in my hand, so I think that takes me to the top of the busy and important list, and definitely makes me feel significant 🙂
What do you carry, a brief case, a piece of paper, maybe a laptop or mobile phone, to make sure you feel important, busy or significant? Or maybe it’s the clothes you wear, do they make you feel powerful, significant, important.
I do actually have to carry a folder for my job, but I will be the first to put my hand up and say I used to feel important when I wore certain suits, or even when my shoes had a hard sole, you could hear me coming with every step I took. Now I judge those people with those same hard soles, thinking they are trying to feel important, or trying to show off the quality of their shoes and how much they spent on them, when really I am only judging myself.
Maybe you busy yourself to feel important, significant, or is it just in case someone asks you to do something for them, either at work, home, or at your child’s school. You don’t have time, you are way too busy, way to important.
Or are you the person who says yes to everyone, for various reasons, with one of them being, to feel important, or significant, and possibly to be able to tell everyone how busy you are.
What do you need in order to feel important?
Why do we need to feel important, significant, or needed?
We are funny beings us humans, yet all of this is quite normal, so no need to worry. We all need to feel significant, important, needed, special or unique, even by saying you don’t need these things is significant.
A need to feel significant is a basic human need.
Significance comes in many forms. From acquiring assets to living frugally, to earning lots of money, a job title, having a degree or phd (or several), in the way you do or don’t vote, saving the planet, the food you eat (or don’t), having none or having several tattoos, having a big following on social media or more importantly being liked on social media, how many kids you have or by choosing not to have any kids, by taking a stand on a particular issue, or by having more issues than anybody else, spending the least or spending the most at a restaurant, on your shopping or on your holiday, all of these can make you feel significant.
I have read many times how impressive it is that the founder of facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, only drives a $30,000 car, and that more people should be like him rather than showing off their wealth.
What I haven’t read in one of these articles is about how many $100s of millions he has spent on all the homes and property he owns, or the millions he spends just to go on holiday with all his staff. He also gives away billions to charity, and all of this, from giving money away, to the $30,000 car, and the $100 million dollar properties, all of this is giving him significance.
And sometimes (ok all the time), how good does it feel when you are treated significantly? You are upgraded to a higher class on a plane, you are given personal service at a restaurant or in a shop, picked up in a chauffeured car, to being given a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates. We all love it, so lap it up, enjoy it, you deserve to feel significant and appreciated.
At various stages of our life, what we once found significant will no longer be significant to you.
Having a career may be significant that may then change to having a family, to taking care of yourself. I used to find hard sole’s on my shoes gave me significance, now I like quieter, rubber soles (maybe that’s an age thing). My shoes still look the same as the loud ones, they just don’t make any noise.
And none of this is a judgement (so does that make it a judgement?), except the part with me judging myself, it just is what it is. I do a number of these things for my own significance.
We are all human, and are learning everyday about our own significance, and learning more about the role we have to play while we are on this planet.
Have a look at your life, and the ways you are needing to feel significant or important. Is it healthy, or are you missing other basic human needs. Maybe you are lacking self-esteem, so to boost your levels of significance, you take on more than is possible in order to feel needed, when perhaps you need to take on less, and make sure you are taking care of yourself in other ways.
If you are needing to feel significant from your assets, or money, then you will realise that you may never be fulfilled, as compared to feeling significant from the ways you contribute. I don’t doubt that Mark Zuckerberg feels significant from his contributions of billions of dollars to charity, helping to rid the world of disease.
You are significant, you are important and you matter. Remind yourself of this, often, and try not to look for significance in areas of your life that really aren’t that important to you.
When you know what is important to you, you will find significance.
How important are you?