Here’s how you ended up right where you are.
At some point early on in your life, somebody laughed at you. Someone told you that you don’t have the ability to do it, or you decided somewhere in your brain that because they laughed at the one thing you got wrong, all of the things you did right, don’t matter.
It may not have been as direct as that, it may have been their reaction, a comment they made, perhaps they made fun of you in front of others, or their facial expressions let you know what they were thinking.
You were given a task at some point in your life that was beyond your ability, and without the correct support or encouragement needed, you failed at that task, and learned that failure is a bad thing, and learned that if you try something and it doesn’t work, you will be laughed at, criticized, and made fun of.
A parent, sibling or an extended family member, maybe a friend or quite possibly a teacher. At some point in your life, you learned from someone you looked up to, and potentially still look up to, not to put yourself out there for fear of being laughed at or criticized. You learned to stay in your comfort zone.
Yet as an adult, you feel it on the inside, and that your brain is telling you that you want to do more than you are, but your anxiety is telling you to forget it, and stay safe in your safe zone where it’s cozy.
Every time you say yes to your safe zone, you say no to your self esteem, and you doubt your abilities a little more than you did. And if you’re an introvert reading this, you support that side of you by telling yourself not to venture too far today, it isn’t safe out there in the world, you are an introvert after all, and introverts are born to stay inside, read, and watch Netflix. (You aren’t by the way, but that’s for another time).
You can spend years in therapy finding out what you had built into you as a child, or, and don’t get me wrong, therapy is great, and worth it, or, you can be the parent, sibling or friend that you needed back then, to say you did great trying, keep trying, or why don’t you try it a different way.
As the adult you are now, how would you speak to a younger you who made a mistake or did something wrong? Be that person for yourself now. Give yourself the same nurturing and support you would give to a younger you.
It’s time for you to be what you lacked in your life and maybe still lack in your life.
What do you need and who do you need to be for you in your life?