Self-Doubt V’s Self-Love

Do you give yourself a real chance of love?

As human beings we go through so much struggle to find the ‘one’ person we are supposed to be with for life.

But when it doesn’t work out, does your world fall apart?

This is a much easier message to write from the comfort of a loving and secure relationship, but it wasn’t always this way. I had to learn to love myself first before this relationship was even possible.

For years I was in the wrong relationship, and while I didn’t realise it at the time, I wasn’t loving myself in the way I deserved love, and so the relationship I had, was all I thought I deserved.

What relationship do you deserve?

Here’s a tip for free, and one that will save you from years in the wrong relationship.

The right relationship for you, is the one you have with yourself.

Go figure! I realize that’s not the answer you were hoping for, but it is the right answer, no matter how many books you read, or how many relationship experts you speak to.

“But I thought you were going to help me work out how to get the right relationship”, I hear you say. 

I did.

Here’s why.

Until you have the right relationship with yourself, you won’t have the ability to love another openly, and honestly.

My current job, while I am building the school of purpose to be my full time business, is assessing young drivers ability to be safe drivers on the road, and if they pass the driving test, we then give them a licence to drive by themselves, without supervision.

It has me thinking, that maybe there should be a love licence, where you don’t receive your licence until you love yourself fully, and understand the type of love you need in your life, for yourself. There are no testers required for the self-love licence, only you will know the answers to whether or not you love yourself, fully.

When you have the relationship with yourself sorted, then you will be open to receiving people into your life that may or may not be suited to you. It is about knowing yourself well enough that if the wrong relationship comes into your life, you will be in a position to identify it, learn why it is in your life, then quickly move on from it.

If your relationship with yourself isn’t where it needs to be, you will hang onto the wrong relationship, trying to mold it into being the right one, when you need to let it go, and work on you.

The self-doubt kicks into gear when you question whether or not anyone will ever love you, but a better question to ask is this, will you ever love you?

A relationship has the ability, in the short term, when you don’t love yourself fully, to cover up some, or sometimes all, of the holes in your own life, and we arrive in this magical place, where everything is amazing, and what we thought was wrong with us, or wrong in our previous relationship, was actually the other person, not us.

This will go on for a period, it may be a few weeks, a few months, or sometimes much longer, until the current relationship appears heading for doomed ending (wait for it, I flip from pessimistic to optimistic shortly). There comes a point in your life where you need to do the work on yourself, before you are given your very own self-love licence, and before you are allowed to share the journey with another.

Your self-doubt will have you wondering and questioning, whether or not they are the right one for you, but when you know how to love yourself, you will know the answer without needing to wonder or question it.

The right relationship will appear, as if by magic when you have your own self-love in order, and that’s not to say that you aren’t already in the right one, you may simply need to check in with yourself from time to time, to make sure your self-love needs are being met.

It may take a little longer in the short term, but it is worth doing the work on yourself first, learn how to overcome your self-doubt, and understand what love looks like, and what love you need in your life, then you will be ready and open for the right relationship to walk right in.

It may take a little longer in the short term, but it is worth doing the work on yourself first, learn how to overcome your self-doubt, and understand what love looks like, and what love you need in your life, then you will be ready and open for the right relationship to walk right in.

www.optimisticintrovert.com

Published by Simon | The School of Purpose

An optimistic introvert, helping introverts overcome self doubt, build confidence, and start living life on purpose.

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